Also remember this and this is very very important, if you can't be with the one you love, then tie up the one your with.
Master Dark

December 31st 2004 4:38 PM

OK last day of the year and needed to write a last entry,

First I am sick again, I cant believe it, I feel like shit and will be doing nothing tonight except sleeping most likely.

My MP3 player arrived and have been copying some music into it,  and I have still yet to pick my picks for next years dead pool, I didn't have one fucking hit this year and I need to get it together, I will keep some of the same picks from last year and hope they come through.

Glad this year is finally over, like I said before it was a strange year for me, ups and downs, maybe the most bizarre year of my life, whatever it is its over and we move into my favorite month if the year and its about fucking time, from here the countdown is on and sometimes this is all I look forward to.

I have been such a hermit as of late, the illness hasn't helped my isolation, the madness that lives inside my brain feed of this isolation.  The weather hasn't helped me, the bitter cold has yet to set in here and I'm feeling cheated at that, hahahahahahahahaha, it will come soon enough.

I've already slept much today and need more, I need to defeat this fucking cold once and for and all and no insane activities.

Something real personal for you, I have no real family to speak of, there will be no New Years call to wish me a Happy New Year, I have only you, all of you, you know who you are, you are my family,  you are my purpose, I may not tell you all enough how you all mean to me, now I'm getting mushy and teary eyed (not), seriously you are all very important to me and I appreciate you all so to you

HAPPY NEW YEAR

December 26th 2004 1:56 AM

Finally scanned a pic M had taken of me back in the summer in his police car, very funny to see me sitting in the drivers seat or a police car.

Lets just say this has been a rough fucking year for me, its that time again, reflection at the years end, some things got accomplished, some didn't, some new things popped up, some old things popped up, some things I didn't want popping up did, some things I wanted to pop up didn't, is it ever what you think it will be?  Would you have it any other way?  All I can say is I hope some things get finished this year and some new things will happen.

Hatebreed later tonight in Philly and Monday at Roseland, I need ear fucking splitting hard hitting base of beattie and Hatebreed, I need my ears to fucking bleed in so many ways you don't know, lets hope its not as crazy as the Hartford show.

December 24th 2004 1:26 PM

Updates in the file section, someone sent me a clip I lost long ago, some guy getting kicked down stairs, I fucking live that clip, also a nun sucking dick, hahahahahahahahahaha.

Files

Merry fucking xmas maggots, aren't you glad its over.

December 22nd 2004 10:44PM

Yeah yeah yeah, here we go again motherfucker, sitting here playing with my new computer, loving this computer, I have been doing some video stuff being that we lost my partners machine, well didn't loose it just unavailable to me at the moment, my partner I think is getting the help he needs at the moment and that's a god thing.

Here is a clip I have worked on, just messing around, a little bit, its a big clip so watch out, and its nothing crazy, crack smoking and dope shooting comes later.  DNP

December 21st 2004 10:41 AM

OK , its here, 12 days of Xmas Satan Style Enjoy

My new computer arrived, yeah, Still loading up some programs, bad news could not recover data off the disk, will try one more thing and then have to let it go what can you do.

I have now taken to answering the 419 scam emails, going to have a little more fun with them before I get bored, none of the others have contacted me yet.

Last quick not then I really have to get some work don't today, hahahahahahhaha

There is something about Slayer on a cold day, Reign in Blood has to be the best fucking hardcore CD of all time that is all I'm saying.

I am truly the most isolated person I know, it is a miracle I haven't gone a killing spree yet.

December 20th 2004 8:53 AM

What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck, this is what I ask myself on this cold blustery NYC Monday morning, its these kind of mornings, not because of the cold mind you, I've been waiting for this cold, no its the madness that lives in my brain, its these kind of mornings when I say a hole in the head is the way to go.  I need to live in a cave somewhere, in the woods like some Unabomber hermit man, that's what I need, hahahahahahaha.

Ok I am so tired of my home computer, another drive has I believe crashed, I should have my new computer here today, cant wait, big fun.

My partner is missing again, I haven't really gone looking for him, I have sort of given up on him to be honest, I have to get back on track and get serious with the film again.  He had the computer for editing and stuff and on my new computer coming I will have some good stuff so I will start putting together what we have, what I have I should say.

What to do, what to do, the dilemma of my life, the paradox it is, 

December 15th 2004 8:59 AM

Well I survived the office Xmas party, it was ok, maybe my last one, hahahahahaha.

Ok its 14 fucking degrees here today, its about fucking time that's all I'm saying.

As you can see I finally posted  some of the pics I took at the NYC Halloween parade. 

My moods are so stoic these days, its like I prod along, non feeling, non thinking, like there is something in the wind, what the fuck is that old dylan song, the answer my friend is blowing in the wind, some shot like that right?

Being a physco has its high points as well as low

December 14th 2004 9:12 AM

Happy happy joy joy, today is the office xmas party, how fucking sweet, I am so looking forward to it, big fun.  I think I would rather be walking over hot coals followed by broken glass while a cattle prod gets shoved up my ass all the time forced to sniff gorilla shit and eat maggot soup.  Does it sound like I'm looking forward to it?

OK I've grown bored with the IM scam.  I've posted some of the text here.

Here are some pics of her.

She stepped up the pressure yesterday, I can see how some dudes would cave, you know she is going to kill herself, when she gets here and I have her cashiers check the money is for us, we can go to the FBI together, because remember I told her I wired money to her agent Kate Johnson, so of course I didn't wire any fucking money but I told her someone picked it up, I had my fun.  I wish I could have taped the phone conversations, lets see if she gets in touch with me again I will.

OK I have a new computer on the way, the old one isn't cutting it for any video editing, my partner has a great machine for this but its in his old apartment and he's still in no shape to get his shit.  I have been on to long a hiatus with my work and need to get busy with it.

Is there anything more pleasing than Slayer first thing in the morning.

Now I know its been over for a couple of months now but I had a really good fucking time in Germany, it like hit last night for some reason, it was a fucking blast and I cant wait to do it again over there.

Tonight I think there is a memorial for Dimebag in union square, I should blow off the party and head there.

December 13 2004 8:39 AM

Monday Monday.

M and myself were hanging again on Saturday night, went to a couple of strip cubs in Jersey, where else would we go I wonder, We went to the Sorpranos strip club, I have to say it wasn't all that, I mean there was a couple of cute chicks but we were disappointed so we headed onto to Stiletto in Carlstadt, outucking standing that's all I'm gonna say, got M a couple of lap dances and he seemed to be in a good mood.

Ok so of course this morning the little Nigerian princess is calling me like a obsessed lunatic, I'm not finished having my fun, it should all come to a end today and I will post her pics and the conversations we have had this evening.  Now wouldn't this all be a kick in the head if she was legit.  hahahahahahaha

She just called me as I was writing this and I got all mad and said look I tracked the money and they have it already, maybe I should try and get there bank numbers and take there money.

December 10th 2004 8:24 AM

Dimebag Darrel R.I.P. bother.

This doesn't happen at metal shows, this fucking freak of nature, we wont even mention the piece of shits name here to give him any notoriety.  What my people in Ohio should do is find where this garbage is buried and piss and shit on his grave and send me fucking pics.

OK now the current status of my Nigerian princess who is in love with me and wants me to send her money so she can come here and be with me, she just called me, can you believe this, I have to give it to them they are good in going the extra mile to get there scam worked out, I'm not done fucking with them yet though.  I may call the FBI.

December 9th 2004 8:28 AM

Well it is a sad day, Dimebag Darrel shot fucking dead on stage last night, I got to see Damage Plan over the summer and missed the show here in the city a couple weeks back.  We will surely miss you Darrel.

The reports are so sketchy that his bro was killed also.

I've been trying to get on the Damage Plan site but of course its overloaded, if any one knows where to send cards or flowers let me know.

I feel much better today, like 100% better, not 100% but 100% better get it.  Thanks for all the well wishers, I will lay up again another day or 2 just to make sure I don't have a relapse but i can fucking breath again, do not taking breathing for granted, hahahahahahahahahahahaha.

"I want to slit your throat and fuck the wound"

It was brought to my attention, now wait let me back up a second, this is the holiday season and all, so its the holiday season, office parties, secret Santa's and all that jazz, ok this is not P.C.  So would it be appropriate to go to my office xmas party, which I really don't want to of course cause I cant stand these motherfuckers with the exception of a few people here, let me rephrase that, there are a couple of motherfuckers I really cant stand here and want nothing to do with them outside the course of work, so if I proclaim Satan as my Lord and Master do you think that would get me fired?  And if it did would I have a lawsuit?  I am working on my version of the 12 days of xmas, I know you cant wait, even though I have much work to do I will do this just for you today.

There is a great scam out there, I mean I knew it right away, this chick contacts me on the IM, she is Africa she says, nice pic in profile, professional pic, I will reveal the profile for you and some conversation we have, anyway she is coming to Vegas (yeah right) for a fashion show next week and needs to cash a check for travel, ok I was born fucking yesterday right, and to send the money as soon as i get the check not to wait till it clears the bank, I mean how fucking stupid are some of you motherfuckers out there I wonder?

So now today, like I didn't know this was coming, she is asking for me to send her $1500 in advance of the check, I am going to tell her I sent it, hahahahahahahahaha, have a little more fun, she sends me pics and everything so this is great believe me.

Oh I left something out, this cunt says she is in love with me, now she told me this before she even saw a fucking pic of me, and she says asked if she could stay with me and she would do whatever I wanted her to do.  Now gentleman please don't tell me any of you are THAT FUCKING DESPERATE FOR PUSSY.

As the only member left of the original Cock Brotherhood and by defunct its leader you dumb cocksuckers need deprogramming, you need to be labeled for us free men to avoid you, to know you are a stupid shit and have been tainted.

December 8th 2004 9:08 AM

OK I think I feel worse than yesterday.  I can recall long ago a cold of this magnitude that I received from a child that lasted me 6 fucking weeks, the powerful child bug in a developing immune system.  I will know it a couple of days I guess if I get no better.  Everything around me is a mess, I am dragging myself into work, forcing myself to get here, taking my sweet time and not really carting when I get here.  I should really be home but what would I do there.  

2:39 PM   

OK I'm going fucking home, I cant take it, I feel like shit like I'm ready to pass out, fuck this.

December 7th 2004 1:28 PM

Wow its been what a week since I wrote?  I didn't realize that, I've come down with some fucking cold, fighting it now for what 9 fucking days, I hate this, I stayed home from work yesterday, this has also been interfering with some things I need to do, I will get it together.

OK I hate, I mean hate, can I say hate?  I mean I fucking hate the holidays this year.  Can we hunt Santa and his elves?  Can we string the fat fucker up and roast him?  Can we but fuck his elves until they squeal like little piggy?  Can we rape Mrs. Claus and whatever other little chickes are hanging where Santa hangs?  Can we just have overall anarchy in the midst of the happy happy joy joy holiday season?  These holidays remind one of one very long ago, so long ago I don't even want to think about it.  Oh well what can you do.

I had so much on my mind where should I start.

OK  the most politically incorrect term this year.  Master/slave.  This is referring to computer hard drives, it is politically incorrect to refer to hard drives as Master/slave, these are inanimate fucking objects, no fucking feelings, no comprehension what so ever, these are fucking machines and it is politically incorrect to refer to the drives as Master/slave. What the fuck has this world come to, gone are the days when a retard was a retard, a fat fuck a fat fuck, a ugly chick a ugly chick, I cant fucking stand it anymore, it makes you want to blow your fucking head off.  Its indecent for Janet Jackson to show her dried up fucking nipple during the super bowl for what 2 seconds but its ok that the catholic church and that old doesn't know he's dead motherfucker the pope to condone child molesting priest, its not ok to curse in church but its ok to fuck little children dry in the ass on the sacred alter right?  

I'm fucking sick of it all, all the hypocrisy, all the bullshit, all the fucking backward morals and values, people like considered evil for what we believe in, you don't see us fucking little children, and let me catch one of you motherfuckers doing that and we have our own justice.

The end of life as we know it is upon us, we are all contributing to it, each and every one of us.  All I can hope for is a quick end and Slayer/Slipknot headlining every night wherever I'm headed.

Could be I'm just in more of a foul mood than usual due the physical pain I feel along with my normal emotional torment and the mental anguish magnified by the oncoming holiday season.

November 30 2004 8:46 AM

December is on us, the holiday season is here, have you been naughty or nice?  Will Santa slide down the chimney and slit your fucking throat? Maybe molest the children in the house?  Will the little elves come and eat your dog and cats?  I say sit with a shotgun and if some short fat fucker attempts to gain entry into your house cut him off at the fucking knees.

They light the tree here in my wonderful city today, all the tourists and on lookers will be there tonight, what a difference a year makes doesn't it?  It will be madness in midtown this evening, avoid it all costs if you can, if you are a native to my great city and you are in the vicinity, you know you have absolute privilege to stab and puncture any tourist that stands in your way, be rude to them, very fucking rude, give the the NY experience.

So the company xmas party is planned and I must go this year, the past couple of years I was able to blow it off but I must attend, happy happy joy joy, could this be the year that I go postal at this event, I get to spend a couple of extra hours with the people I cant stand and want to kill everyday.  Have I mentioned how I can not stand salesman at all.

Now can I pose a question or more so make a comment, of course I can I can do what the fuck I want to do.

These Straight Edge motherfuckers, can anyone tell me if they are just a new breed of Aryan or nazi?  Is the concept of straight edge a excuse to hate? To cause and spread violence?  Do these fuckers even know what hardcore really is?  Are they really hard?  Do you even know what hardcore really is?  

November 29 2004 9:08 AM

Monday, ok so over the weekend I didn't work on the site, oh well fuck you what can I say.

Went to Hartford to see Hatebreed on Wednesday in Hartford at the Webster Theater there.  I don't know if I will go back there or not, I don't think I will, but you can never say never, there was this feel about the place, now look I'm used to being a stranger in a strange land but this was even to much for me that's all I can say.  I didn't bring the camera, oh well.

I didn't get to see Full Blown Chaos, I would have liked to but what can you do.

I saw Terror for the first time and got turned on by them, pretty good, band from L.A.  Picked up there CD Saturday, along with another full blown chaos cd and finally the Slayer Rein In Blood DVD, SLAYER, yes I am a renewed Slayer fan, it took Roseland, that special place to bring it all back.

Ok the Hartford show, I think the crowd was mostly Straight Edge, it started to get violent while Terror was on stage then when Hatebreed took the stage it exploded, I mean it was an all out brawl, I have never seen anything like this, in a matter of minutes I would guess 200 people were gone, by the end of the show I think 300-350 people were ejected, it was insane.

I was a bum most of this long weekend, I was on a cleaning rampage in my house, when I get in this kind of mood I usually tear everything apart and make more of a mess than what I had, cleaning out the dust in every corner.

I was given a vision this morning.

November 24 2004 9:12 AM

Pain, my sadists dentist killed me yesterday, no she didn't really but  I am in pain, Ill get over it.

Everything around me is falling apart, it seems that way anyway, my house is a mess.

So did everyone see the xtian lady who chopped her babies arms off? Another Texas lunatic mother going off the deep end, but I am evil yes?  Church hymn playing in the background as she dialed 911, un fucking believable yes?  And they will blame it on mental illness, now I am fucking mental how come I'm not doing off the wall shit like that?  OK maybe  I am doing some off the wall shit but that's not the point.  

Added some stuff to the file section by the way and a couple of new links.

November 23 2004 9:17 AM

hahahahahahahahaha

I think I am going to miss Hatebreed this time around, at least for a few weeks anyway, I don't know.

So the leak in my bathroom stopped, I have wet clothes still everywhere and the fucking wall is all moldy now, this is a good thing for this week, hahahahahaha.  

Some bizarre thing is happening, when it runs its course Ill let you know.

I'm not sure if you can gather from my personal little rants that I am a atheist/agnostic/unchristian what ever you want to call it, lets face I walk down the left hand path and that's that.  Was I born this way?  I most likely was.

I am well read in many of the religions, you have to know your enemy I believe, as it stands I believe it is the the moral right, the religious freaks that have led to the downfall of our society.

I was in catholic school for about 2 weeks way back when I was a little lad, I was asked not to return, I can remember that this pent up, probably sexually frustrated nun tried to push me out a 4th floor window, I mean it was hysterical, all because I questioned something, the brainwashing the churches put on you is amazing to me and that people follow them blindly, I have a very real feeling that this so called god they believe in actually is pissed off at them and the day of reckoning will have them surprised to say the least.  I mean if you believe in that book, in revelations it says only a handful really will be saved and each and every one of them believes it will be them, hahahahahahaha, the sheer numbers say otherwise.

So I say take your religion and stick it up your fucking ass.

So I saw M yesterday, when I got in his car he had his 9mm in his hand and said that's it dude lets get it over with and go out now together, he cocks the gun puts it to his head and pulls the trigger, the man has a sick fucking sense of humor, now I was pissed and I told look bro if your going to do that I need to know so I can bring the camera.  He has a death book that we should get some good exclusive scans from.

I was watching my little man this morning and he was licking his dick, now I know this is a normal thing for cats to do but that also a sign in male cats that they have a urinary tract infection, which he has had twice now, so I have to watch him all the fucking time, what joy I have to monitor how many times a day my cat licks his balls.  He is my little man though and I will certainly kill a motherfucker who fucks with him.  I may not travel this weekend if I think his health is in danger, when I leave him alone I worry about him to much and get very paranoid that I will come back and he will be dead.

November 22 2004 10:11 AM

Holiday time is on us and I cant fucking stand it in a big way this year already.    Its Monday so that could explain the feeling I am having, its complete dread this morning for some reason.

Last night I was hearing these noises in my house and couldn't figure out what it was, it was like this swoosh noise, then I found out what it was, there was a leak and the swoosh was the paint bubbles that were building up with water opening and leaking.  So the leak was in my bathroom and the bathroom wall is connected to a bedroom closet, which I had to empty because all my fucking clothes got wet in there, horrible I tell you.  That is what I needed at 11pm last night.

Can we hunt Santa clause this year?  

Saturday night I had to do something for Mark, I will tell you this,  its something I don't do anymore, something I would do for maybe only 3 people and he's one of them.  Its amazing how it all comes right back no matter how long its been. 

It is really a bad time of year for me on many levels, it seems as though this is the worst yet, I want to avoid all holiday cheer at all costs, go into hibernation, where is Slayer when you need them, hahahahaha.

The other night I went to Virgin, it is my favorite music store, and it was all switched up for the holidays and I felt like what the fuck, I was lost, I could find nothing I wanted, I don't think  it was that long ago I was in there, and I couldn't wait to get the fuck out of there, I wanted the new Slayer DVD and they didn't fucking have or I couldn't find it I don't know.

I have the dentists again tomorrow and tonight I get to go home and fucking clean my wet clothes, and whatever other fucking mess is there.

November 20 2004 12:02 PM

Saturday morning, cold rain here, gotta love it.

Need to do laundry badly, I mean badly, either that or I need to go buy socks and boxers.

Picked up a couple of new cd's last night Full Blown Chaos, I bought a couple more but haven't listened yet, Full Blown Chaos kicks fucking ass, local NYC band.

Saw my partner last night, I have now given up on him, I have no choice, the life has consumed him and I need to move on, I will start looking seriously for a replacement now this week.  I hope to get some more of him in film and document his trail now.

November 18 2004 9:28 AM

The left hand path awaits us.

I had so much to say and report and then bam blank.

There's this guy I work with, salesman, right off the bat all salesman are scum, the bottom of the human food chain and I don't give a fuck what there selling, million dollar mansions or used condoms, all the fucking same.  This guy thinks he's so fucking funny, same routine every day, I generally eat a muffin every day in the morning, every fucking day he's got the same thing to say about the muffin, "Look at you eating the muffin, I only eat the tops of the muffins, blah blah blah."  See its this very kind of people that I hate, not his boring plastic life no not that at all, I mean that yes, Jersey guy, the wife 2 kids, pain in the ass neighbor, like everything he does is so fucking important, like I give a good flying fuck he only eats the tops of muffins, chock on the fucking muffin you sleaze fucking salesman.

OK you think I hate this guy or what?

Now for those of you that don't know Hatebreed by now I don't know what the fuck your doing here, ok if you've seen the movie XXX when diesel is snowboarding down the mountain that is Hatebreed's "I will Be Heard "in the background.  If you can make it to the Stillborn Hardcore Fest next week.

I think I have finally mentally returned from my vacation, making some changes in the home environment, naked bitches everywhere.

I will be loading plenty of new pics very soon, if not this weekend I will take some time next week to do so.

November 16 2004 8:39 AM

By the way there is a new file in the files section, a chick blowing a horse, very cool.

Its Tuesday, it cant be Friday quick enough, long weekend  next week looking forward to it.  Hatebreed is playing 2 shows next week that are close enough to get to, I fucking love Hatebreed, I can not say enough about this band.

I have to say something else, just a little peeve of mine and if you don't like it you know how i feel about that right/  That's tight SMFD.

Metalica sucks shit, they suck big fucking donkey balls, when's the last time you heard that expression?  Slayer rules and Metalica sucks ass and that's that.  Fucking faggot Lars Ulrich, Slayer and Metalica were responsible for a movement long ago, sure there were other bands that had tremendous impact on the whole thing but lets face it, these were the front runners.  Its hard to imagine these days that Metalica was a hardcore speed metal band isn't it.  Especially after seeing one of there family oriented shows were chicks showing there tits is discouraged.  What the fuck this is heavy fucking metal isn't it?

Like I was saying its hard to imagine, I mean Kill Em All was like the premier album back in the day, yeah I'm a old fuck you didn't know that by now, hahahahahahahahaha.  Its sickening to see them and see where they are now, it really is, I mean they were hardcore making a statement, there statement became about money and fuck us.  Do you realize before the popularity how we the hardcore fans, the ones who were in the trenches, in the pits killing ourselves , we were the ones that were spreading the word, convincing all the hard core maiden and priest fans that this new breed of metal was here and here to stay and forcing them to listen to album like Hell awaits, Rein in Blood, Kill Em All and Ride the Lighting, may others but for now were ragging on the bitch boy Lars.  We spread the word and music, making copies of tapes and giving them out, forcing any and everyone to hear the bone crunching, mind numbing riffs

Metalica is now a fucking joke in my eyes and that's that.  Slayer and others have stayed true to the blood and roots, man for that I fucking love them.  If I ever hit the mega millions I will pay Metalica to play with Slayer and watch us hardcore fans rip the shit out of them, for Metalica to bring there fans and see the look on the face when they experience war, hahahahahahahahaha, watch Metalica sweat and cry, we could do a double bill Metalica and a band of there choice, like Godsmack and Slayer/Slipknot, deal with that.

Had to get that off my chest as I sit here cranking, well not cranking I am at work, but as Hatebreed spills out of my office.

November 15 2004 11:32 PM

OK the dentists was an experience, had fucking root canal, did I know that going in there?  No!  I was informed as I was sitting in the chair, also a deep cleaning, my life is fucking pitiful if I'm telling you this shit today, plus its hot as fuck here in my apartment, well I am the devil so what did you expect.  Now of course the Dr, shot me full of nova cane so I didn't feel her drilling and scraping around in there, this was my first root canal by the way, she was showing me the little nerves when she was taking them out, I didn't think to get some pics sorry about that, anyway about a hour after I got home, I started cleaning here, the house is a wreck, I need a fucking maid, the requirement is of course your cute and wear the outfit, anyway all of sudden the nova Cain wears off and I'm telling you I was in fucking pain like you wouldn't believe, I didn't get any pain killers from her, don't fucking need them, yes I am a caveman, a man beast, I can take the fucking pain.  I look at it this way, when you live with the mental and emotional torment I do what the fuck is physical pain but a welcomed fucking diversion that's what it is.

Me and pain we have a funny relationship cause at one point she was sort of tickling me, at least it felt like that and I was enjoying it sort of, I have to say I hate the dentists, our modern day medieval torture, In Amsterdam I went to the torture museum and let me tell you they had to be dentists.

OK now the pain has subsided, I ate, the dude in the pizzeria thought I was crazy for eating but what the fuck am I supposed to do?  Soup and pizza that's what, I am exhausted thought and headed to bed just wanted to fire this off.

Wait one note, did you really think I would say it here?

November 15 2004 9:03 AM

Its Monday, I hate my job and most of my coworkers.

Fucking Slayer was awesome the 2 nights, very cool.

I came into work after not being here Friday and a coworker mentioned to me what another coworker said to her about me, I love peoples perception of me, I'm telling you if you listen to all the haters you would think I am the devil.

So the memory leaks and the voices in my head are trying to take over, ever have one of those days?  Don't you hate when that happens?

I want to reiterate once again  I am really the sickest fuck I know, I think its time for me to retreat to the cave and leave all you humans alone.  I should be allowed out in public without a chaperon, hahahahahahahaha

Ok the countdown is on, Slipknot is coming, Hatebreed is coming, are you fuckers checking out Hatebreed?  There was a support band at the two Slayer shows, Dry Kill Logic, very cool, I went and got there CD after the show.  Also for those of you not yet familiar with Mastodon, check them out.

My left eye is still twitching but not as much, I have the dentists today, big fun cant wait.

November 12 2004 10:46 AM

Slayer, Killswitch was awesome last night, as I was watching Slayer I was brought back last night for some reason to what 1985 when I first heard Rain in Blood, how it changed my taste in music forever.

Slayer Pics Roseland

Killswicth Pics Roseland

November 11 2004 3:04 PM

Ok I've been falling off here, what can I say.

SLAYER tonight, if you don't know where then what the fuck good are you to me,  hahahahahahahaha.

Hoping to get some pics, I hope I can sneak the camera in tonight I will see.  I am so looking forward to the wreck they are going to cause tonight.

I have not been myself of late, you know why right, the dreaded happy holidays are coming, can we have evil Santa this year climbing down chimneys slaughtering all the happy people?

November 4 2004 8:34 AM

So is everyone back to normal now?  

The weather is changing here, I think I caught a cold and I hate being fucking sick.  

Feeling so indifferent lately, not numb but not feeling either, who the fuck needs to feel anyway.

Ok my little kiddies, I have many new pics coming, plenty of bondage stuff will be added to the site  and of course some really good sic stuff is on its way. 

What to do, what to do, do you know?

Listening to Howard Stern this morning, as I do every morning, those of you that follow him know he has been gripping for months about the election, I have to say something here and it goes back to what is real and isn't, that for one we are living in the Matrix.

Many people feel that the republicans will turn this country into a religious state, its already a religious state motherfuckers, it was when Clinton was president, if Kerry was elected to would have been also a religious state, now if we, the sic, the few, the proud dredge of society do not realize this then who the fuck do you think your fooling. When 70% of this country is Christian you bet your fucking ass its a religious state, fucking a right church is not separate from Govt, and do you think it matters what side of the fence your sitting on? 

I think a large portion of our population does not realize how we fucking feel, that what is coming here in this great land of ours is far worse than anything they have imagined. They think we have already let go of so called moral values, ha, they haven't really seen yet what our moral values are.

Ok enough of my psychotic rant.

November 3 2004 11:05 AM

Well well, its over, and the truth is I don't give a fuck.

Ok finally got some pics finished and some details of my trip.

Slipknot Pics

Hatebreed Pics

Slayer Pics

Trip details

I have more coming, Amsterdam but here's the first, then of course Halloween pics.

Ok the great USA decided yesterday, now lets get fucking on with it and life back to whatever normal is because there is dark work to do.

Memory leaks of things past, the visions want me to drive nails in my head, will this be the day?  

OK here at work my office is a fucking sauna, all the brilliant minds to be who " know what there doing"  have yet to come up with a solution, mine is simple, remove a ceiling tile, guess what, it works, but now they say they can hear noise filter in, they must be fucking kidding, its a lovely 72 degrees in here now, that will change as they close the vents that were placed in the ceiling.

I need to get the fuck out of here before I slaughter everyone involved.

I took a personality test, hahahahahah

Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: Very High
Schizoid: Very High
Schizotypal: Very High
Antisocial: High
Borderline: Moderate
Histrionic: Moderate
Narcissistic: Very High
Avoidant: High
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: High

URL of the test: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv
URL for more info: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/disorder_information2.html

November 2 2004 9:10 AM

The big day for winners and losers.

Big fucking news, there coming back, the Knot will start a Canadian tour in January, I will be doing 2 shows I think.  Killswitch will be the main support.

November 1 2004 9:24 AM

I hope everyone's Halloween was dark and nasty. I went for the very first time in my life to the NYC Greenwich Halloween parade, you have to understand every year since I'm like 15 I have been going, it was like 5 pm yesterday and I was already thinking of not going and then jumped on the train, got some pics, took plenty of pics, not all of them came out.  Also plenty of video.  I need to live in the forever Halloween city, next year I'm getting dressed up, if I'm here in this great city of mine this will become a tradition of mine. I have to finish my trip pictures first, maybe Ill do nothing at work today and work on that, hahahahahahaha.

In Germany at one of the Slipknot shows the fucking camera got knocked from my hand and all my settings were reset, I have to read the fucking book again cause as I'm looking at my pics I realize that they are not coming out as they should be.

OK on the Dark Night front, my partner is a serious struggle, the Looking for Kevin project is still on temporary hold, not abandoned yet. My partner is trying to get it together, he is himself in very dark times, he at least has his old apartment back who the tenant he he was subletting to left it a wreck, do not sublet, I have had my own horrible experiences with this, including subletting to family.  My partner is starting over from zero, when you have nothing left to loose you have everything to gain. 

I am so fucking happy tomorrow is the day, I am tired of both these motherfuckers and honestly I don't give a fuck who wins, you know why, cause they will not care either fucking way about me or you.  I mean do you think either one of these fucking mental midgets is in touch with our reality? 

I should be president.

October 28 2004 8:50 AM

yeah yeah yeah,

Ok I have been neglecting this page, and some others, I am almost finished with my trip page by the way but things as usual get fucking crazy in my life.

So the saga of my partner continues, and for now he's out of my immediate life, I'm sure he will return with his fucking drama.  

I am so sick and tired of my place of employment, its like a sauna in my office, all I want is a hole in the wall to let some heat out and cool air in and its nothing but a project, like I can kick a fucking hole in wall faster than this is taking place, I am leaving here everyday with fucking headaches because of it, its ok soon.

I started tearing my place up also, my office was a wreck at home, I still haven't gone through all my mail since my trip, you think my brain is still in Amsterdam or Germany?  

Ok next week we finally rid ourselves of this fucking hype over the election, I mean I for one don't give a fuck, cause either or way they don't fucking care about me or you, if you think they do you are a fucking idiot, in the scheme of things they want the likes of you and me to disappear so what's the point.  

I was going to go into this really nasty fucking tirade about Repubs and Dems but for what, fuck them, and if anyone doesn't understand maybe some Damage Plan lyrics will help you out

Fuck you I'm through
I want nothing more from you
My sanity is wearing thin
Irate, I hate
You determined you own fate
Now everything is caving in

Fuck your power trip and
Fuck your attitude and
Fuck your bloated ego too
Fuck your history, your tragedy, your misery
But most of all... fuck you


Fuck this, all of this
Bitch and moan and bleed and piss
Seconds away from goin' down
Go ahead and push me
Your fakery, your butchery
Is nothing compared to my hate for you

Fuck your apathy and
Fuck your empathy and
Fuck your nihilism, too
Fuck your bitter pills, take em all, you never will
But most of all... fuck you

Nothing changes, nothing fazes, nothing stays the same


Fuck your power trip and
Fuck your attitude and
Fuck your bloated ego too
Fuck your history, your tragedy, your misery
But most of all... motherfucker, fuck you!

Man there are some really good shows coming up, Damage plan of course, Killswitch on the Jagermeister tour, Fucking Hatebreed of course, Hatebreed which doesn't leave my CD player now along with Slipknot.

Decisions decisions, I can make many of these shows, would love to see Hatebreed several times, I know the Jagermeister tour show will be at least 2 cities for me. Got to see who I am going to follow around and make a decision.

If I was really crazy I would be on my way to Asia as the knot lands there to continue the war, we need them back in the states.

Ok enough of my nonsense this morning as far as that goes, see what happens, I got into the fuck you song for the candidates and all the fucking 2 bit politicians that can suck my fucking dick and I'm sure yours also, and then I get talking about tour info.  

So here it is, down to the wire, I tell you of Kerrys daughters would kiss they would have a huge vote don't you think?  There is some funky shit going on there for sure.

Im not even getting into the whole Boston thing, its still to fucking painful all right?  So leave us alone about it.

October 22 2004 8:37 AM

Its Friday, you know what that means right?  That its Friday.

So my partner is out, currently my house guest, not sure how I feel about that, I am a quirky motherfucker believe me, very strange I am, haven't you noticed?  I just hope he gets his shit together quick.  Its not like I don't like helping people or anything like that, but in my home is where I can be the weirdest I am without worrying about someone calling the authorities, I mean if you cant do the shit that you don't want anyone to see there where the fuck can you do it.

Hatebreed is coming your way, make sure you go fucking see them and support them, I love them fucking guys.

My left eye is twitching, its very annoying, what I was able to find was its caused by a few things, cause you know right away I'm dying, so its caused by not enough rest, what me the insomniac?  To much caffeine, I only really drink about 6 cups of coffee a day ok.  And get this, none of this I have, stress.

Still working on the pics from my trip, maybe this weekend I don't know.

October 13 2004 9:50 AM

Still getting used to being back here.

So before I left Dr Phil had this special, signs of a serial killer or some shit like that, to recognize when your kid has the potential to become a serial killer, here are the signs, I exhibit 13 of 14 of them, I didn't wet the bed, hahahahahaha, so am I like waiting to explode?  Could be. Maybe I already have who the fuck knows, I could also be tipping my hand here, you all know how I feel about the prying government fucks, which some say I am a paranoid shcizo, lets not forget that I am a fucking psychopath, so that's what I am, also a Minister lets not forget that.

The weather here is exactly how I like it, its getting cold I am so fucking happy, if you live in the North East and you are already complaining about the weather and if you lived here your whole life and or made the choice to move here stop your fucking bitching, its cold here 7 months out of the year so fucking deal with it.

Lets see, there is so much, I am working on the page from my trip, one thing I don't do enough of is post that kind of stuff.'

Have I mentioned how much I hate being back at this desk?  No I haven't, well just so you know.

There is a couple of Killswitch shows here next month, should be pretty cool, looking forward to it, they are playing with Slayer, Slayer again and again and again, I have lost track now how many times I have seen them this summer, I have to say that I love Slayer but enough already, go home get some rest , they are old fuckers and they keep moving and moving, they are the energizer bunny of hard metal.  No really I love those guys don't get me wrong, Rein In Blood was the album way back when that got me open to hardcore, real hardcore death, speed, thrash metal what ever fucking label you want to put on it, me its simple, its just hard.

I'm babbling now.

I will say this one last thing, the solitude of traveling alone can have different affects on people, make you look at shit you didn't want to, whatever, let me say this one thing now, I should be living in a cave somewhere away from humanity, that is why the need to open a church on a huge compound, things must change in my life, moving forward that is all I  am saying and whoever comes for the ride better hold on tight, were moving fucking quick now, things will not look the same, not even remotely close this time next year.

I hear the knot may be doing Germany and Europe again in May, I'm there you know that right?  This time though I already have the contacts and that hard travel will not be so hard.

October 12 2004 9:27 AM

I'm back, just wanted to drop a quick line to tell all you fuckers I'm back, be careful I'm on the prowl again in my lovely city.

All I will say for now, well I am at work and need to keep this short, tons of work to catch up on, 6 nights of Slipknot was not enough, it was a great fucking blast, I am working on the pics, started to last night anyway and getting readjusted to be backing in the salt mine.  Of course I could have kept going and for a quick minute I almost didn't make it out of Amsterdam.

Ok let me do some work and earn the money they pay me, hahahahahahahaha.

September 22 2004 3:44 PM

One fucking day to got that's it.  I cant fucking believe I haven't been able to make any solid contacts in Germany, ok anyway you all have the info where I'm staying so just pop in and that's cool.

So I think this is it till I get back.

September 21 2004 8:23 AM

Couple of days to go and I still don't have it all together, hahahahahaha.

Ok have the Dresden info but not decided which hotel I am staying at yet.  Amsterdam is the Albert Hotel, I will be there from 10/02 - 10/09.

Now I am working on Belgium and my concert ticket for there, its going to be sic, I am getting very fucking amped up now, the boys themselves have now or should be in Sweden or at least on there fucking way I hope, I've not yet ruled out jumping to Birmingham in 10/06 to see them also.

I have enough people tell me I am being irresponsible, my first thought is me, no fucking way, your kidding me, I'm being irresponsible?

Now get this one thing about me, in many ways I take many things very serious, for example I like where I live, I like having lights, I like having food, though I haven't been cooking much lately, I like having high speed internet, my cell phone, blah blah get it?  But get this, I am a flighty motherfucker ok.

So I am being irresponsible by jaunting off to Europe to travel to a few cities to see the Knot, no motherfuckers I am free, something you have no idea what that is, what that means, flighty, you motherfuckers have not even begun to see flighty.

If you want something get it, do it, have no regrets, be careful of the price you'll pay for what you want, can you pay that price?  If so do that, not everyone can flow, be careful.  If I died today could I say that I achieved all I wanted, fuck yeah, sure there is still shit left to do don't get me wrong, but would I be ready, for death I've been ready since the day I was born.

I mean look at this will you, ok I know where I am staying when I get over seas, I know I am headed to the concerts ok, do I fucking know where they are?  No.  Do I know how I am getting to them?  No.  Do I know any fucking thing?  No I fucking dont but I do know this, if I died today, right now, I can say I at least tried to live, that I saw many of the things I wanted, tasted the things I wanted, you get the idea.

Ok maggots, I know there are you out there in the countries I am headed to, look me up, you have the info.

I may not get another entry till I get back so if I don't, STAY FUCKING HARD ALWAYS

September 17 2004 10:11 AM

Its almost time, some last minute things to get, there is a storm coming here also.

Just want to say big ups to the killers in the 82nd Airborne stationed down in Fort Brag.

For those of you in Germany I will be there and at these cities the following dates

Sept 24-26 in Dresden, I lost my hotel info trying to get it now

Sept 26-27 Berlin staying at the Park Plaza hotel

Sept 27-29 Munich, believe it or not no where to stay yet, hahahahahaha

Sept 29-30 Stuttgart staying at the Akzent Hotel

Sept 30-Oct 1 Dusseldorf, staying at Alt Dusseldorf

Oct 1-2  Leuven Belgium, No place to stay yet, don't have my ticket for the show yet either

Oct 2-9 Amsterdam looking for a place to stay now.

One day my head will explode 

September 15 2004 9:04 AM

Here we go again motherfuckers, hahahahahahahaha.

Its coming, I can feel it.  9 days and I'm off, do you think I'm fucking excited, shit you don't fucking know, Slipknot/Slayer, 6 shows in 7 nights all over Germany, and then some relaxation in Amsterdam.  I need it so fucking bad you don't know.  Maybe Ill fucking stay there.

So looking forward to the violence and destruction of Slipknot/Slayer you have no clue, ok I'm repeating myself cause I'm fucking burnt and need to recharge/

The weather here is changing finally, very cool.

September 14 2004 9:43 AM

I know I haven't been writing much, been busy with work preparations and things for my trip, I leave in 10 days, getting excited, looking forward to the solitude of the trip, I am trying to meet up with some maggots in Germany.  I have decided to also see  Slipknot in Belgium before heading on to Amsterdam.

OK news on the project, my partner is now once again in the custody of the NYPD,  when I return the work for looking for Kevin continues.

So much madness in my life these past couple of weeks, much loneliness and isolation, this is by choice, I have written a little in this time but not much.  I am hating everything, I may look into employment when in Amsterdam, or it is time to relocate, I will wait till the end of the year here no matter what, it is to late in the year for me to leave my job, it will cost me to much money at this point.

So fucking scattered emotionally that I have turned it all off, I will say that many things have been in some ways making sense of my life all of a sudden.

I have been closely following my dreams, getting meaning from them, wait I just remembered something I am checking it now, that's right I should be dead already, hahahahahahahaha.

September 7 2004 10:24 AM

I had the long holiday weekend and it was possibly the most stressful I have had in a long time, the other former half of Dark Night Productions caused me nothing but stress this weekend with the madness of his personal life, I was ready to kill him, 17 days, 11 hours and 4 minutes till I head off to Germany and start catch up with the Unholly Alliance tour, I cant fucking wait at this point and wish I was going today.

OK fuck it.

I do feel some sort of what I don't know mood, could be the change of weather upon us could be something else.

Ok the Babe of the day will be returning and so will the new files, don't worry getting it together, I'm only one motherfucker you know.

September 2 2004 2:55 PM

OK been a few days, Slipknot at the Ozz fest was great, of course to short but I would feel like that even it they were in stage 2 hours.  22 days till I leave for Germany, getting excited.

I finally saw the liberty bell while I was down in Philly this time, never seen it before and I have to tell you I was a little disappointed at the size of it, don't know why I expected it to be so much bigger.

Here's a funny pic I snapped while in Philly, the lady in the wheelchair with a umbrella, I mean it was fucking hot there that day so I don't blame her

Started to rebuild the collection finally after the drive crashed, yes I'm still affected by it all ok so fuck you.

The project is on temporary hold till after Germany, I am meeting with someone tonight that will  possibly take my partners place, its been a hard thing for me to consider but what can you do, it has to go on, the work is to real to stop now. 

Here is a pic of where my partner was getting high.

The republicans are here and I haven't ventured into the city.

OK the tickets are here I almost forgot, in hand and now I'm ready to go, Ok I'm falling asleep now at work going to take a nap I think.

August 23 2004 9:11 AM

Ok just when I thought it was safe to plan the rest of the German trip something has gone wrong with the ticket purchase, trying to get to the bottom of it now, that's what the fuck I need on a Monday morning, .

Anyway, ok were are we at otherwise, I spoke with my partner yesterday, he asked me to give him a month to get his shit together, which works out for me, I wasn't able to do anything really for the next 30 days as it is, 

August 19 2004 8:59 AM

Got the fucking tickets, finally after so much fucking madness in trying to get these tickets I got them, I thanks to a German chicky who I owe her brother a beer and what ever she wants, ON MY FUCKING WAY TO SEE SLIPKNOT IN GERMANY MAGGOTS .

Stopping in Amsterdam after the trip, after Germany, there is one show in Belgium and I havent ruled that out yet.

When the day comes thought it certainly wont be today, I have Slipknot to see a few times in the nest 6 weeks, hell it could happen after that, the gapping hole in the back of my head will have all there names on it ok.

I am the destroyer of innocence.

There is a reason I love these fucking guys ok

Yeah Come on! It never stops - You can't be everything to everyone Contagion - I'm sitting at the side of Satan What do you want from me? They never told me the failure I was meant to be Now, over do it - Don't tell me you blew it Stop your bitching and fight your way through it I'm - Not - Like - You - I - Just - Fuck - Up C'mon motherfucker everybody has to die C'mon motherfucker everybody has to die Everybody has to die

I must say I am feeling rather, I feel I am at the end of many things, it is sort of depressing to be here at this place but it is what it is.

August 18 2004 8:25 AM

The project has come to a temporary end, my partner and I had the final falling out last evening, it got ugly, he called the cops to my house to try and recover some of the footage we shot, particularly the footage of him smoking crack over the weekend, and the admission on tape about 6 weeks ago that he was smoking, I haven't the time at the moment to get someone new, next week is Ozzfest, Slipknot, "what the fuck are you looking at", then in 5 weeks I leave for Germany, more Slipknot, I may also do the show in Belgium not yet sure, have to think about it.

So the project is on hold until after October 15th at least, I may have enough to put something together.

I have to say I am feeling a wide range of feelings, dejection, depression, anger, frustration, its like every time something good happened on this project something bad always followed, I may be down a bit today but will never surrender, the material is to good, the time spent to much.  What the fuck you gonna do.

August 16 2004 9:08 AM

Ok Saturday we got my partner , the other half of "Looking for Kevin" on film, yes he is back at it again, what am I to do people?  Should we have our own beheading and be done with it, I have to say I am very angry over the situation and do not know what I will do, the project has faced several set backs in the last 3 months because of him, I will sit down and have a talk with him later today and see what the deal will be, I am so far behind in all of the this, the summer is over and this mother fucker fucked everything up, I need some of you sick ass motherfuckers out there, where are you?

Met a sick minded like myself individual over the weekend, who knows that's going to go with him.

The countdown is on, Germany looms in the not so distant future with a few days in Amsterdam to recover, hahahahahah, getting very excited, need to call over there between today and tomorrow to get my concert tickets straightened out.

Oh yeah, its Monday and its raining, if I have to be here on Mondays at least i

August 13 2004 9:36 AM

Friday the 13th, hahahahahaha.

Ok the NJ Governor has resigned because he's gay, I mean how fucked up is that. Its fucking pitiful that in the year 2004 this is how people think, well in some way good for him to come clean with himself and be what he is, and lets just clear something up here, he's not the first nor will he be the last closet homosexual in politics, I would be willing to go so far as to say we I'm sure had a president who was gay, maybe even liked fucking little children who knows.

Its like the world thinks that only now are the problems occurring in our life, wrong they have always been here but the media was never as tormenting as it is now, but lets blame the internet that's what we should do.

Ok I'm in some funky mood really, don't know why, maybe I do, what can I do.

August 12 2004 1:18 PM

Ok its official, got my ticket for Germany, I'm fucking nuts that's all I'm saying, the Knot in Germany, finish up in Amsterdam, leaving 9/23 cant wait.  Now I need to get my concert tickets, hahahahahaha, cant fucking wait, I was suppose to be there back a couple of months ago for a festival in Leipzig, glad I didn't make it and going to be making this one.

August 11 2004 9:49 AM

Not in a much better mood today, I still cant believe the fucking drive was wiped, oh well.

The only good news today is I may have found a really cheap flight to Germany to see the Knot, 

August 10 2004 2:40 PM

Some very fucking bad news my friends, my drive with all my shit is gone, don't know what the fuck happened, all the files I have yet to put up here for you, gone, all the great pics yet to put up here, gone, I don't think I can recover them, I am going to try, I know I know motherfucker I should have had a fucking back up but I didn't and what am I going to do.

I am fucking pissed off that is all I can say, I mean all the stuff we already have is good but everything that was going to go up is gone, all my files were on a Iomega HDD portable hard rive, if any of you knows how to recover the data if it can be recovered let me know.

August 9 2004 9:05 AM

Ok its Monday morning, you know how I feel about that, listening to the Knot so that doesn't help hahahah

OK did some really good work over the weekend on the project, we hit a gold mind you could say  you can see the current shots, I warn you now motherfuckers these are some graphic pics, if you have a week stomach for someone sticking a needle in there arm do not fucking go there ok cause its going to get to you

DNP August 7 2004

You know what I have always found so fucking hysterical , like here's a word of wisdom from the Minister, you never know what the person standing next to you is capable of, all serial killers look normal and innocent , don't ever forget that.  hahahahhahahahahaha, and how some people don't realize that and they think they can do whatever they want to do to whoever they want to do it to, I'm not the guy you want showing up at your doorstep.

August 7 2004 11:07 PM

OK got a new tat here it is, I took these pics myself,

Tommy from Asylum studious on Treamont Ave in the Bronx did this piece.

August 6 2004 8:41 AM

My fucking head is going to explode I swear.

Germany trip is coming together, I hope to make some travel plans this weekend, my good friends at Defunkt  are working on some press passes for me, that would be fucking awesome, I know I maybe boring you with all this but you know how I feel, and let me just again one more fucking time in case you didn't understand it the first time, motherfuckin Slipknot fucking rules.

I think I am retreating this weekend, cant take certain things and have to regroup, maybe will go out shooting tonight I will see, did some writing last night, was very inspired early in the evening then it got bad as usual. I shouldn't say bad as usual.

Ok one word on the female race, impossible that's all I got to say.

Some lyrics come to mind;

Fuck You All! Running out of ways to run I can't see, I can't be Over and over and under my skin All this attention is doing me in! Fuck it all! Fuck this world! Fuck everything that you stand for! Don't belong! Don't exist! Don't give a shit! Don't ever judge me! Picking through the parts exposed Taking shape, taking shag Over and over and under my skin All this momentum is doing me in! Fuck it all! Fuck this world! Fuck everything that you stand for! Don't belong! Don't exist! Don't give a shit! Don't ever judge me! And don't you fucking judge me! You got all my love, livin' in your own hate Drippin' hole man, hard step, no fate Show you nuthin', but I ain't holdin' back Every damn word I say is a sneak attack When I get my hands on you Ain't a fucking thing you can do Get this cuz you're never gonna get me I am the very disease you pretend to be I am the push that makes you move I am the push that makes you move I am the push that makes you move I am the push that makes you move Fuck it all! Fuck this world! Fuck everything that you stand for! Don't belong! Don't exist! Don't give a shit! Don't ever judge me! Fuck it all! Fuck this world! Fuck everything that you stand for! Don't belong! Don't exist! Don't give a shit! Don't ever judge me!

August 3 2004 9:12 AM

As of this moment looks like Germany is going to happen, will know more by the end of the week.

I have to say something here, you know who I'm tired of, these old cunts in my great city who think there cute and there pussy is more golden the a chicky in her mid 20's or so, now don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about you, I'm talking about these pathetic bitches that fashion themselves after the sex and the city bitches, pathetic cunts if you ask me, pitiful, old dried up nasty bitches, they imagine they are so fucking cute, they make me sick they really do, I see them all the time and also have the misfortune of knowing a couple. Anyway let them sit and compare sex stories, let them think they are kinky and freaky, let them believe what they want, when the day comes they will be among the first logs on the fire.

I have to say again, do you all really think Bin Ladden is capable of anything more than ranting and raving, if he were in NYC you do realize he would be on a corner somewhere holding a cardboard placard with some prophecy of doom for the near future, he would reek of cheap wine and dirty socks, it would look like his body was consumed with lice as he would probably pick himself allot, his eyes darting from the paranoia that consumes the homeless, he would have a beaten up coffee cup in front of him collecting change, or worse yet we would have to endure his tales of woe on a crowded subway train in the middle of August as he body odor would empty the car.

We all know who the real terrorists are don't we?

If your a maggot and if you don't already own it, go run now and get the DVD Disasterpieces, what the fuck are you waiting for, knock little old ladies down, trample on children, if your local shop doesn't have it fuck them up, seriously it is tremendous.

Have I told you today how much I FUCKING LOVE SLIPKNOT?

One last thing before I do some work today, its fucking hot here, August, Humid, ready to fucking kill people cause of the heat that's all I know

August 2 2004 9:29 AM

Ok been a couple of days, got to see Disturbed over the weekend and Damage Plan, Damage Plan was very cool, still working out the kinks of the Germany Trip, I think its going to happen, will make a decision this week, good news the project, "Looking for Kevin" is underway again.

OK so we are on high alert today, big fucking deal, al queda is coming so everyone watch out for ethnic looking terrorists in trucks today, hahahahahaha.

One thing my maggot friends, they don't know how we really feel do they, they don't know we don't give a fuck, they don't know that we are fed up, that we are what we are, that it isn't the fact that they don't like us, we don't fucking like them, hahahahahaha.  

a little lyrics so you understand

This is the year where hope fails you
The test subjects run the experiment 
And the bastards you know is the hero you hate
But cohesing is possible if we try
There's no reason
There's no lesson
No time like the present
Tell me right now, what have you got to lose?
What have you got to lose, except your soul?
Who's with us?

I fight for the unconventional
My right and it's unconditional
I can only be as real as I can
The disadvantage is I never knew the plan
This isn't just a way to be a martyr
I can't walk alone any longer
I fight, for the ones who can't fight
And if I lose at least I tried

We, we are the new diabolic
We, we are the bitter bucolic
If I have to give my life you can have it
We, we are the pulse of the maggots

I wont, be the inconsequential
I wont, be the wasted potential
I can make it as severe as I can
Until you realize you'll never take a stand
It isn't just a one-sided version
We’ve dealt with a manic subversion
I won't let the truth be perverted 
And I wont leave another victim deserted

We, we are the new diabolic
We, we are the bitter bucolic
If I have to give my life you can have it
We, we are the pulse of the maggots

Do you understand?
Yes
Do you understand?
Yes
Do you understand?
Yes
Do you understand?
Yes

Say it again, say it again
We won't die
Say it again, say it again
We won't die
Say it again, say it again
We won't die
Say it again, say it again
We won't die

Say it again, say it again
We won't die
Say it again, say it again
We won't die
Say it again, say it again
We won't die
Say it again, say it again
We won't die

We fight, till no one can fight us
We live, and no one can stop us
We pull but we’re pushed too far
And the advantage is, the bottom line is
We never had to fight in the first place
We only had to spit back in their face
We won't walk alone any longer
What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger

We, we are the new diabolic
We, we are the bitter bucolic
If I have to give my life you can have it
We, we are the pulse of the maggots

Do you understand?
Yes
Do you understand?
Yes
Do you understand?
Yes
Do you understand?
Yes

Say it again, say it again
We won't die
Say it again, say it again
We won't die
Say it again, say it again
We won't die
Say it again, say it again
We won't die

July 28 2004 11:48 AM

Had a stressful day and half here at work, lost our connection and it was crazy.

It has been raining here all week, I love it, last night there was a thunder that I thought was a bomb going off, never in my life have I heard such a thing.

My mood has been somewhat somber, not sure what it is about, I am waiting to hear bad news as the A.O.D. has been to see me.

I was thinking today about the Martha Stewart, now can someone tell me what the difference is between her and Clinton?  Does anyone have a answer, I mean he fucking lied didn't he, 

July 26 2004 8:13 AM

The Angel of death visited me last night, who will go I wonder, she doesn't tell me who I just know someone is going to go now.

Have I ever told you guys that, yes I get visited by sprits, maybe part of it is I love across the street from a cemetery, I don't think this is it though, I have been seeing them since I'm a kid.

So I have this one, its sort of like a lady, and when she comes I have noticed that someone I know dies, so some one will be kicking the bucket soon.

Ok Monday morning, you know how I love Mondays and so look forward to the return to work.

Caught a little cold over the weekend, fighting it and I think I'm on top of it, well see.

I really am the sickest fuck I know.

July 23 2004 9:21 AM

Fucking humid here today, now its raining.

I just have to say again in case I haven't really, I fucking love Slipknot, these crazy fuckers from Iowa truly reflect the madness inside my soul, I am so fucking ready head to Germany the end of September and follow them for 2 weeks, I fucking love this band.

I was thinking today, actually engaged in conversation with someone about BDSM and I was thinking about  it, something kind of dawned on me, that how the times have changed, how much fetish is prevalent in all we do, the things we see, and I must say that Slipknot is the soundtrack to it all.

I read this book Jays Journal, it has to be bullshit has to be, does anyone know anything about this book?

July 22 2004 10:51 AM

Hey all, had a really rough night emotionally, didn't sleep till 4:30 AM.

First off I had a really bad end of day here at work, don't even want to get into it, I was ready to spilt this bitches head open.

I remember now why I don't , I remember why I don't trust, I remember why I am the most isolated person I know, why I am unfeeling, why I don't  want to feel, why I go numb.

July 21 2004 9:28 AM

Ok the fucking site is down at the moment due to a DOS attack, getting on my fucking nerves, what can you do.

Going to try it again, might head to Germany end of September,  5 nights of Slipknot in 6 days, going to see what I can do.

July 20 2004 9:57 AM

I hate this fucking job.

Ok the AMF was kick ass, I fucking love Slipknot, if you don't fucking like em shut the fuck up that fucking simple.

I behaved, no injuries.

Didn't take much pics, in fact only a couple so here they are, and none inside.  here are some of the travel

	Just a funny town name
	Approaching Glens Falls
	Heading into the city
	Where I stayed
	Fucking room I think after the first night
	Some Hasid walking on the highway

The show was great and the city of Glens Falls didn't not crumble, the chaos was joyful, I stayed out of the mix, some big country motherfuckers up there, it was great, I fucking love Slipknot, the sickness is far reaching into my soul, music for serial killers.

Most likely going to head to the Ozzfest in south Jersey end of August to hook up with them again

Oh shit I almost forgot, I fucking saw Mark, its been like fucking 17 years ok, and it was pretty good, here are some pics

July 16 2004 9:21 AM

The invasion is upon us, wont be writing for a couple of days, hopefully Ill survive and be back to talk about it, lol

July 15 2004 8:55 AM

2 Days 13 hours

Not much on my mind or soul at the moment, I  think I am still numb from my partner, the fucker set me back and trying to get on track, looking at old footage last night to get me motivated.

I think the new title is "Looking for Kevin, Searching for Gregg, What Happened to Geoff"

On a happy note, the AMF will be happening this weekend, should be sick.

July 14 2004 8:33 AM

3 Days 13 Hours.

Ok on the front with my partner, he's out of jail and once again lost though, I need to find him, film him , I am meeting with a new potential partner today will see how that goes, the work must go on and I need help, I cant be out there alone like that.  I have some people going to help out with the small things but I need a crack hunter to follow me into the tunnels.

Another hostage beheaded in Iraq, when do we really start fucking motherfuckers up over there thats what I wonder, fucking nuke them get it fucking over with, behead women and children in the street, let some of us sick fucks loose over there with air support, no ramifications, yeah I know we shouldn't be there blah blah blah, whatever, the fact is we are and it is fucking high fucking time we kick some real fucking ass.

July 12 2004 2:12 PM

Some further developments, Geoff is now in the care of the NYCPD, as I learn more I will keep all informed, the fucked up shit, didn't get it on film, see that's why he's fucked up , all this great shit and none of it in film.

July 12 2004 8:42 AM

5 Days 13 Hours and 18 Mins till the sickness, though there playing this week her e in the city the real sickness will be taking place this weekend.

INSANITY, the past I don't know 3 or 4 days has been really nuts with yesterday the culmination, well it can probably get worse today, the worst fears have been now absolutely confirmed, my partner has been sucked into the film.  He called me at 8am ye4sterday, I was hoping to get extra sleep yesterday but no such luck, need it for the sickness, anyway there he was finally admitting to me what was going on, of course we got on film, the project has hit another temp hold because of this, he maintains he will work on it still, that he wants to but he is the work now.

He informed me that on Thursday when I found him he was blasting off and I scarred them, I am the motherfuckin crack hunter, you can not escape me, I will smell you.

I am interviewing someone on Wednesday to see if they want to work with us, I have a couple of people in small support roles but I need a fellow crack hunter, going into the wild to bring you the front line story.

Its Monday, little tired, little stressed, neck is killing me, need a adjustment I think, much to do in 4 days now.

I still maintain that we should be on the Great American Terror Tour, bringing pain, torture, rape, death and destruction to a city near you with Slipknot and Slayer  blaring in the background,

Some lyrics for your Monday morning;

You are mine! You will always be mine!

 I can tear you apart! 

I can recombine you! 

All I want is to covet you all! You belong to me! 

I will kill you to love you! 

Love! Love! Love! Love you!

July 10 2004 9:52 AM

Well the worst fears are confirmed, my partner has been sucked into the project, I was looking for him last night to no avail, was on the phone with him several times but nothing, he was supposed to meet up with me but didn't, in a few minutes I will call him, chances are he's still awake and ready to crash in a little while, am going to try and get from him the equipment he purchased and see what I can do, I would hate to see him sell it off to someone other than me, I could use the equipment.  

This project is that powerful and real, I don't know if I am giving it the weight it deserves, I mean its about lives destroyed in various ways, this is another example of a life destroyed, now it hits home as one of the film makers has been caught in the grip, was the temptation to great for him I don't know, I simply know that one of us is lost and it isn't me, I am starting to wonder is it safe for anyone, I know I'm feeling a little spooked about it that's all.  

See this is in my opinion the real shit going down in our society, I mean does Bush or Kerry really give a fuck about such things?  No the answer is simply no, and for that matter does society as a whole give a fuck?  No they don't.

OK on a lighter note the beasts are gone, almost hesitated for a minute and kept the little one but I cant disrupt the harmony between Chaos and Mayhem, today is a huge cleaning day here because of the residual affects the little monsters had on the house.

Here is the final pics of them

The Rev

July 9 2004 3:03 PM

Left something out earlier, getting more and more peeved lately over 2 semi connected issues, well I have plenty of issues that piss me the fuck off but here's a couple that really get to me ok, I sort of touched on it the other day but here's the deal, Ok you can imagine I came across many curiosity seekers and wannabes, now like I was saying the other day if you cant hang then don't, anyway like don't say your this when your not, tired of the hypocrisy of our society, this fucking country is going down quickly with all the fakers, takers and  haters.

Ok onto the issue, one thing is my world of BDSM, like don't fucking tell me you are this when your not, forget telling me don't fucking portray yourself as this when your not, I mean what the fuck is that about I wonder, like if you portray yourself as a slut then you will be treated and regarded as a slut, now in my eyes slut is good, I mean how can you not like and admire a slut I wonder but there are those that don't, that's ok that's there prerogative, point really being that  why do you think your something your not is what I  wonder more so like leave your fake poser ass in your pathetic life trapped bored and making yourself something your not.

Second, like we are all fucked up right, I mean we all have some issue or whatever ok  and so fucking what  if we do, why does everything under the sun need a fucking label, does it make you feel better, and even if it does just because you need a label why do you think I need a label, we need to start tattooing people on there forehead to let the rest of us know how fucked up you are.

Well its now 3:38 PM and my partner hasn't even called to tell me the lie he's working tonight, tonight we get pics and film.

July 9 2004 9:18 AM

Countdown to the invasion 8 days 12 hours 41 mins.

Very disturbing news last night, I found my partner and in a bad way, my suspicions I must say are true, though I didn't see it with my eyes I can not deny it anymore, put it to you this way he simply should not have been where he was, I didn't film him, maybe a part of me didn't want it on film but tonight I film him and that's that.  Its official now, "Looking for Kevin, Searching for Gregg, Where's Geoff".

He maintained he was doing nothing wrong but what the fuck are you doing hanging out in a shack in the woods I wonder.  As bitter a pill as it is that I have to swallow, I have to, the project must continue, its come to light that he has lied many times to me in the past months and I cant have it I need to move on, he has become part of the story now and that's that, maybe he is the end of the story I don't know, in some way I knew this would happen but what can you do, I need some assistance that's all I know.  Any takers in the NYC area get in tough, if you cant hang don't even contact me, this is hardcore stuff that will put you in dangerous situations so be prepared ok.

When I left him last night he said he would call me today to go out and film, the same he told me yesterday, than in the afternoon he tells me he is working, I found that to be a lie, 

The beasts are leaving this evening or the morning that's all I know.

July 8 2004 9:22 AM

Some very sort of disturbing events this morning, my partner called me as I was leaving for work, I have to say seeing him worried me, I hope he has not become part of the story.  

Someone was explaining to me that maybe some people cant hang, that I'm a handful, if I'm a handful now you can only imagine the kind I was 11-12 years ago, holy shit, anyway I never really gave it much thought but it sort of makes sense, seeing how many people have come and gone, I mean there is no doubt I will bring you to the limit and keep breaking new barriers, and this is nothing what is yet to come, hahahahaha.

Ok was in Bellevue yesterday, no not fucking committed asshole but visiting someone, man of you can help it don't end up on the flight deck, it will make you more fucked up than before.

Ok here's another little thing, some thing I haven't thought of in years, like I fucking hate posers, posers can be anything and everything ok, I wont get into it to much, I mean when do I ever do I am lets not forget Mister Mystery and Vague, ok anyway like what fucking illusions do you think some people live in, I swear I think they think they are living in a sit com or some shit ok, like I watch groups of people and see them in that they think , its fucking sickening how the media can shape peoples life's, no its fucking sickening that people allow the media to shape there life's, all the bitch cunts in this city thinking they are these sex and the city sluts, all the groups of people thinking they are friends or sienfelds, and on and on, like for one who in there right mind gives a fuck ok, second take a fucking look around what's really going on all right, and second your not that fucking interesting or important.  Sorry I went off on that tangent back to the posers.

So what I am saying is how the phonies litter are society, I mean we all have our limits and I don't expect anyone to cross those limits ok but don't fucking fake who you are you poser cunts ok.

Ok 9 days 12 hours and 18 minutes left.

The Rev.

July 7 2004 8:32 AM

Going to be hot here today again.  Finally got in touch with my partner yesterday, well actually saw him for the first time in what going on 3 weeks now, I love working with him, want him to remain a part of this but he's on his last chance, cant take the flake out anymore.

OK here is a pic of me on the 4th

My foster parent days are coming to a end, I will be happy to see the beasts go, I mean 3 of them died and one was teetering but I brought it back from the dead and it is doing well.

This is the One I almost kept

She thought she was getting to me and I was going to keep her.

The rev is on the case, going to try and rescue someone from Bellevue later today, will keep you informed, did speak with the resident shrink on her floor and will possibly make a appearance there later tonight.

Are you all familiar with Metal Church, 80's metal band not even sure of they are making music anymore anyway the song Metal Church will be our theme song.

Many, many years ago on a distant shore
Men did gather secretly beyond a hidden door
They travelled long and travelled far
Dark into the night
Yes, this is the place they've chosen
To build the Metal site.

Congregation rises, starts to chant a hymn
Of evil, lust and hatred, the roots of every sin
The priest he stands before them, tells them why they are this way
Why they worship metal gods each and every day
By the hand of Oberon, dark into the deep
Love the evil things we do, the secrets that we keep

Metal church, unholy, who'll be the sacrifice
Metal church, the only, don't you know the time is right
Metal church will find you, can't run very far
Metal church inside you, knows just who you are

No use in speaking out against anything we do
While the men of earth they sleep, haven't any clue
Now the story starts again, all the time is lost
Metal Church begins anew....
Saving souls that are lost.

Metal church, unholy, who'll be the sacrifice
Metal church, the only, don't you know the time is right
Metal church will find you, can't run very far
Metal church inside you, knows just who you are

The metal church

I also wanted to add something, I didn't see the Moore film yet but its about time some other people are believing the nasty shit the govt does, still not convinced we didn't bomb ourselves and 911.

The Archdiocese of Portland has filed for Bankruptcy amid not being able to settle law suits from child fucking priests, Maurice Grammond was the main culprit in this case, he's dead now and all we can hope is that he is Satan's bitch dressed in drag with a bad makeup job and once in awhile put into short shorts, anyway here were some of his remarks concerning the abuse

"Grammond, who died in 2002, showed little remorse, according to a potentially damaging deposition in which he said: "I'd say these children abused me. They'd dive in my lap to get sexual excitement," attorneys in the case said."

Now all I'm saying is once again we should attack the Vatican, and you can certainly tell them the Dark Minister said so.

Now one more bit of local news, as I stated Joel Steinberg, child murder who was released form prison last week seems to be having a thought time getting along now that he has entered society, the little bitch he is seems he cant go out looking for a job because of all the protestors outside his residence, he is in some sort of halfway house in Harlem and the little bitch is upset.

This is what he looks like in case you forgot and you should just stare at him should you see him.

July 6 2004 9:45 AM

Hey all, technically its Monday for me and I don't want to fucking be here, the beasts are getting on my nerves and they need to get the fuck out.

Feeling sort of numb for some reason, don't know the reason why, I think I've been a little laid up and not really don't much the past week and maybe going a little stir crazy, I think I also am feeling a little fucked up because of the lack of work on the project, my partners almost total disapearance, my having to come to terms that maybe I need to get someone else to work with, its tough, I mean this project is so worthy, so real and in so many ways the direction we need to be headed.  Its very frustrating to me, as at times now my reputation is getting damaged, the momentum is leaving.

Ok the Rev has his first case and I'm on it.

July 4 2004 10:40 AM

Americas Bday, Happy Bday America, I need caffeine, 

July 2 2004 1:22 PM

Man I just keep forgetting shit, my partner has again disappeared, I keep asking myself when will I have had enough, I know he is going through a tough time but still he can at least call and say hey. I think this contributes to the mood I'm in, missing the action you could say, OK anyway anyone in the NYC area looking for hard work, no pay, dangerous situations let me know.

July 2 2004 12:40 PM

Left something out, the Supreme Court here ruled that a law that was passed under the Clinton admin was a violation of our free speech, of course concerning the internet and porn, its about fucking time and it comes down to protecting children, not protecting them from being exploited in child porn themselves but rather the law required that adult sites have a check on the site to ensure that it was adult entering the site, I don't think the law was intended to protect children, I mean I get bombed with now very explicit spam for adult sites, I mean why aren't the law makers more concerned with emails that can get into the boxes of young people as opposed to some kid surfing the net, and once again lets take the responsibility out of the parents hands and into the govts hands for the safety and concern of the child, don't you think a similar law regarding the punishment of parents if there child does surf porn should be in place?  I think they are more to blame the content providers.

OK on a similar note, when will they realize they cannot control the net, we are out here on the loose they have lost this one it is bigger than they can imagine.

The Rev

July 2 2004 8:50 AM

I received my Minister ID badge from the ULC,  I will be registering our church soon enough with them, you see my children I have you in mind, count down has begun for the sickness, cant fucking wait I fucking love that band.

Sort of a don't know what mood in me that can easily turn to something ugly.

So far now no other deaths, I  may have gotten this one in time I don't know, I hope so.

OK right speaking of which, here in NYC Joel Steinberg has been released, in case you don't know who that is he killed a little girl 6 years ago, his adopted daughter, well illegally adopted daughter, anyway as I have stated and maintained here many times I don't give a fuck what you do, want to fuck a goat fuck  goat but I have such discontempt for men like Joel, child molesters and murderers, so anyway here he is and on the loose in NYC, this is what he looks like.

	Here is the child killer after his arrest for the killing of little Lisa
	This is what he looks like now in case you run into him

 OK listen I'm not advocating anything ok because he's a piece of shit, he's staying in a Harlem Halfway house at the moment, condition of his release but just make his life uncomfortable if you see him, one thing suggested that drives him nuts is to stare at him, just stare at him.

Yes the Dark Minister has no forgiveness for the fucker.

Friday, long weekend is here, I need a vacation, I need to be independently wealthy, I need to hit the Mega Millions.

Innocence makes me want to puke.

Wish I was somewhere in Eastern Europe at the moment.  Which reminds me to all my friends there, hey and Ill see you all soon enough.

July 1 2004 2:34 PM

Here we go again motherfucker

July 1 2004 10:22 AM

July starts, well one of the little beasts are getting sick and I hope I don't find them dead when I get home, that would make the death toll 4, I am becoming the Saddam of kittens, really I cant take it anymore trying to keep them alive its getting a little hectic.

So the Minister is setting up shop, the Dark Minister and the Church of Extreme Disorder is now in session and performing a multitude of services, hahahahahahaha.

Ok on the serious search for a new tat now.

Really now getting into the 3rd Slipknot Album, don't forget the AGM festival in 3 weeks, anyway when I first hear the album and heard Iowa I was slightly pissed off as is the same song of the Mate Feed Kill Repeat demo called Killers R  Quiet, anyway now maybe I'm not so pissed ok its a great change to the song, in fact lets enjoy some lyrics.

Here is Killers are Quiet

Cycle of life and death supposedly
goes round and round yet it stops with me
Glorious hunter of my faith I have sinned
Killers are quiet like the breath of the wind

Filling the shadows with forms of my own
Raised by kindred of get I was born
Abomination world in disarray
Killers are quiet when they seek the vitae

Reflection beckons a portal shard
Spiritual quest I must stay on guard
Stepping sideways betweens worlds I shift
Killers are quiet when they're born with the gift

Beautiful anguish cast out by my race
Now one that's ageless I save my own face
I write my own laws with death I break bread
Killers are quiet when they come from my head

Iowa

Relax, it's over, you belong to me
I fill your mouth with dirt
Relax, it's over, you can never leave
I take your second digit with me
Love..

You are my first, I can barely breathe
I find you fascinating
You are my favorite, lay you down to sleep
It's all that I can do to stop
Love..

So blue, so broken, paper doll decays
I haven't left you yet
So cold, subversive, your eyes are full of bleach
Tomorrow, I will go away again
Love..

You are mine!
You will always be mine!
I can tear you apart!
I can recombine you!
All I want is to covet you all!
You belong to me!
I will kill you to love you!
Love! Love! Love!
Love you!

Now I think possibly my favorite track from Iowa is #5 at the moment., Everything Ends

You are wrong, fucked and overrated
I think I'm gonna be sick and it's your fault
This is the end of everything
You are the end of everything
I haven't slept since I woke up
And found my whole life was a lie,
This is the end of everything
YOU ARE THE END OF EVERYTHING

Shallow skin, I can paint with pain
I mark the trails on my arms with your disdain
Everyday it's the same - I LOVE, YOU HATE
But I guess I don't care anymore...
Fix my problems with the blade
While my eyes turn from blue to gray
God, the worst thing happened to me today
But I guess I don't care anymore

You are wrong, fucked and overrated
I think I'm gonna be sick and it's your fault
This is the end of everything
You are the end of everything
I haven't slept since I woke up
And found my whole life was a lie, 
This is the end of everything
You are the end of EVERYTHING

My flaws are the only thing left that's pure
Can't really live, can't really endure
Everything I see reminds me of her
Man I wish I didn't care anymore
The more I touch, the less I feel
I'm lying to myself that it's not real
Why is everybody making such a big  deal?
I'm never gonna care anymore

You are wrong, fucked and overrated
I think I'm gonna be sick and it's your fault
This is the end of EVERYTHING
You are the end of EVERYTHING
I haven't slept since I woke up
And found my whole life was a lie, 
This is the end of EVERYTHING
You are the end of EVERYTHING

You are wrong, fucked and overrated
I think I'm gonna be sick and it's your fault
This is the end of everything
You are the end of everything
I haven't slept since I woke up
And found my whole life was a lie, 
This is the end of EVERYTHING
You are the end of EVERYTHING

What the hell am I doing?
Is there anyone left in my life?
What the was I thinking?
Anybody want to tell me I'm fine?
Where the heck am I going?
Do I even need a reason to hide?
I am only betrayed
I am only conditioned to DIE!

You are wrong, fucked and overrated
I think I'm gonna be sick and it's your fault
This is the end of everything
You are the end of everything
I haven't slept since I woke up and
Found my whole life was a lie, 
This is the end of everything
You are the end of everything

You are wrong fucked and overrated
I think I'm gonna be sick and it's your fault
This is the end of everything
You are the end of EVERYTHING
I haven't slept since I found out
My whole life was a LIE!
This is the end of EVERYTHING
YOU ARE THE END OF EVERYTHING
YOU ARE THE END OF EVERYTHING