Also remember this and this is very very important, if you can't be with the one you love, then tie up the one your with.
Master Dark

June 5th 2006 12:30 AM

What, fuck you that's all I'm saying.  Should be in my favorite place tomorrow early, around noon.

I've been busy so fucking what, yeah to fucking busy to tell you all what is going on but we approach a special day, maybe it will be the day the world ends, hahahahahahhaa, I cant find my nail clipper and that's driving me nuts really fucking nuts, shit it was right here the whole time, hahahahaha, that feels better.

My new/old life, the days of looking over my shoulder are back in full swing, so what if I only get a few years run, sint it worth it, do we not all root for the bad guy in the movie, fuck I root for the bad guy even in movies I've seen already

May 18th 2006 11:00AM

I love waking up at 11 hahahahahahahhaha.

The weather is changing here, getting warm and I hate it.

Been very busy here in the sanctuary, working, yes working motherfuckers, Do I call it work really or pleasure, I don't know, I may, I hope to have some interesting news in the coming weeks, wont jinx it, never talk about things we don't know.

Slayer is coming motherfuckers.

I've been back in the old neighborhood, the place I spent my misspent youth has changed drastically. its like I'm coming home from prison and don't recognize anything, well in a way it was prison wasn't it? 

My bell was ringing this morning, I don't know who it was by the time I got there they were gone, I don't like unannounced visitors.

I have been getting some work done on some projects and been inspired to do some work on some things, I will start soon.

What would have happened had I never deviated?  IM trying to make up for lost time and it could lead to mistakes as I feel a urgency to pick up where we left off, I can see how some of the old crew has changed, would they have changed had I not disappeared?  I'm trying to bring new people into the crew and its proving more difficult than it used to be.  In the mind of the psychopath 15 years ago was yesterday, I shouldn't say that, it more seems like no time has passed, I am timeless, nameless and faceless, the shadows my friends my warm blanket on a cold day, uh oh here comes Mayhem.

It can at times prove to be lonely lurking inside this mind, taking wrong turns that lead not to dead ends and dark tunnels but rather sunlit fields that blind me.

I'm going to paint.

May 11th 2006 4:57PM

Its it Thursday? I've settled into the life of a bum what can I say, hahahahahaha, uneasy feeling creep into me, I need to get out more amongst  you mortals its all starting to have a effect on me.

What are you thinking about?

The night has welcomed me full time back and I have missed it, does anyone really understand the powder keg I really am?

There comes a time when freedom calls, and I wonder what anyone will do really, freedom is something that most of you do not understand nor do you cherish, the idea of being told what to do, how to act, what kind of job to have, how to dress, eat, sleep, what to fucking think and not think.

What happened to us, we used to be great, did the drugs take it all away, did the govt, does it matter who is responsible? 

May 10th 2006 2:48AM

I am free.

I left behind the dismal thing that was driving my days and making me get up early, I no longer hate Mondays, well for now I don't, I don't need to be somewhere every day in a fucking grind that was meant for ants, anarchy, chaos and mayhem, let it all ring out my children.  Let now one tell you how to live.

Its been 2 days since I showered or shaved, been pent up here playing guitar and being a bum, the real writing starts tomorrow.

I miss many things, things that at times should not be spoken about it, things I forget, things I want to forget and cant, nightmares have returned and the craziness of my sleep patterns have started to take hold.

I now have time to update this whole fucking mess of a site finally, maybe I wont let it go again, how many fucking times have I said that I wonder and how many fucking times I go right back, well you know me don't you.

3 am is like driving drunk on the chessboard.

April 27th 2006 8:23 AM

All right maybe I have disciplined myself into writing everyday again, I know I can you at least a few lines.

Had to go into the city for a little while yesterday, I didn't go to my favorite place, Saturday I will.

April 26th 2006 8:58 AM

Holy fucking shit I'm here again, hahahahahahaha

OK couple weeks ago I realized how easy it is for people to disappear, what I mean is homeless people go off the radar, now I was in Grand Central, I was meeting someone, Grand Central is a good place to meet someone by the way, so I was standing there and I started talking to myself, I spend allot of time alone so talking out loud to myself is normal, hahahahaha, but I noticed how the people were reacting, it was really as if I was invisible, I then stepped into a doorway and that's when it hit him, just like that you could be gone.

My stomach problems seemed to have cleared up, again I say a day without blood leaking from your ass is a good day.  I've also decided I will not permit myself to get old, I will kill myself before that happens. 

There is a mood that always lingers over me, its a strange mood, I've described here many times, the mood at times is stronger than other times, I think the mood is relative to how much interaction I have with people, I have no interaction with people other than business right now so the mood is there and I think I need to walk around some crowds today, maybe Ill go to my favorite place I will see.

I've made many mistakes in life, I think that's life making mistakes, sometimes I make the same mistake again and again, sometimes I don't, some mistakes I wish I could undo, some I wish I could do again and again and again because I hate that fucking much at times, sometimes I want to be left alone, sometimes I wish people meant what the fucking said.  Above all this is what I learnt from it, if your not willing to pay the price don't play the game, if you don't like the rules don't sit down.

I was probably destined for something great I don't know what, my destiny though was handed to me, what choice did I really have?  I am what I am and I am good at what I am and that's all there is.  There are so many things that make me a mystery even to me, even to me.  I can not explain why I do the things I do at times, is it just inbred? Is it just reflex?  I don't know.

I think to a time, I was in Austria or Hungary I don't know, anyway I think to that time and I wish I was there, I should have stayed there, something draws me to there what I don't know but something.

Ok new scam in the works, let me see if I can get it up here today, I have so much stuff to put on here its not even funny, now Russian girls are running the Nigerian scam here's a sample photo.

April 25th 2006 8:58 AM

Yeah 2 fuckjng days in a row, remind you of the ole days doesn't it.

I woke up this morning and I could hardly move, terrible stomach cramps and I was hardly able to make it to the bathroom, then once in there the sweat was pouring down me, I'm better now after releasing liquids from all available openings, and now I'm drinking coffee hahahahahah.

My new axe should be there today, cant wait to see it.

I delve deeper and deeper in a dark place that I know oh so well, I know the rules in that place, I know how to maneuver in the dark with no light to guide me, its a place I have missed and a place many told me was to dangerous to be, it was/is my home once again and its where I feel most safe, well I feel safe there providing I have a 357 by my side.

SO more and more people are waking up to the conspiracy that is taking place here, the Matrix is real motherfuckers so beware.

All right I'm done for today, fuck you all.

April 24th 2006 8:27 AM

Motherfuckin Monday, when you say Monday is there really anything else to say, weather here is dismal so at least that's good, love the foggy, misty rain.

Lets see what's pissing me off today, hahahahahaha, a day with out hate is a day not worth living.

Slayer is coming that's all I know, finally found some time to pick up some new music Saturday, though I had to rush, I was like a demon getting to my favorite place but I haven't been there in so long, and the area doesn't feel like home anymore, spending to much time across the river, so far I think I'm only getting to one tour date of the American Unholly Alliance tour but that's cool cause you know they will be back, again and again and again, FUCKING SLAYER.

OH yeah so I picked up the new Atreyu, Children of Bodom, Sworn Enemy and Trivium, cool stuff.

You can find me, you can always find me, you know where to find me don't you.

Can anyone resist little Japanese schoolgirls? 

Now its been a number of years since I have ingested any sort of mind numbing chemicals., including alcohol, so last night when the first drops of Jack Daniels slid down my throat, hahahahahhaah only kidding, no what I'm saying is that I am thinking if I go to Amsterdam I may smoke, but then again probably not, its not time yet, the day will come when it be time now is not it, I have to many responsibilities, I need to have my wits about me, it could be coming at any time so I need to be aware.

I really need to get serious about finishing at least one of my books, I'm making moves that will hopefully free up some much needed time, 20 hour days are starting to kill me.

Ahhh one more thing.  I do lead a double, triple, quadruple life, most times none of the lines crossing into each other, once in a while they do, and most times in those cases they do by accident, some close personal friends of mine actually have no clue who as one friend puts it "Evil J" is, even that friend doesn't really know, point being I'm in a dilemma, a friend has done something to me, a partner of mine, I by all rights should have his fucking arms broken but I have declined, when I told my longtime partner this last night it was the look in his face that told me, motherfucker have you fucking gone completely soft on me, anyway it was my fault and that's that and I take that responsibility for it

April 19th 2006 11:18 AM

Twice in the same week, amazing isn't it? 

OK so I think I reported way back I got a guitar, the playing is coming along, I have also started painting, here is my creation

Don't like it?  Fuck you. I'm trying to get working on another one I started.

The weather is turning and so I am, I am no longer on the calendar as I have said, though I'm putting the dates here is really day 110 of year 2 of the 5 year plan.  As Always I can only say that you have to be you, if your not the pain of the illusion becomes to great, there are great strains in my life which I need to bear, I keep myself busy, new ventures, playing, painting, overall chaos, I am what I am, I am disorder what can I say.

I can smell Amsterdam, I can smell Eastern Europe, maybe Ill go to Germany soon, maybe back to Prague, I don't know yet.

Ok I'm going out

April 18th 2006 8:56 AM

What, my kiddies I have been busy as you wouldn't believe, I think I need to find a intern to help me out cause none of fucking you step up to the plate.

Amsterdam is calling, and when I go this time I think I'm going to smoke.

My nephew got married the other day, he's born again, yeah I know but its not my fault I tried, he doesn't preach to me so that's that. Haven't seen my sisters family in a while, fuck for that matter haven't seen any of my family for a while, I was there about 30 mins and I'm thinking what the fuck am I doing here.  It was a big wedding, mostly church people, here's the odd thing ok, I wasn't introduced to anyone.  Luckily another nephew had a girlfriend that didn't know anyone either, we winded up keeping each other company and it was ok for the time I spent there.

April 3rd 2006 11:31 AM

Ok I have been ignoring you all, so sorry about it, at this point I am sorry, but also fuck you all.

Where am I at?  IM this much fucking closer to upping and moving out of this more and more tyrant ruled country. OK no tirades today.

Been busy, new ventures, returning more and more to things I know, things of what I really am, the conflicts always present.

I want to go on record again saying that so far in my life the greatest fucking live band I have seen is Slipknot, its a matter of preference so fuck you again.

So much has happened this year, more of our freedoms are being stripped from us, does anyone really care? 

The guitar is coming along, I mean sometimes I don't have the time needed to practice but I'm having fun, now I need to find someone to play along with I guess so I don't get bored, I have also started painting, maybe Ill take a pic of my current work and throw it here for all of you to criticize.

March 1st 2006 8:17 AM

IM alive no matter what they say, hahahahah

I know I know, Fuck you all.

Man where would I even start to get you up to speed, I have really been neglecting this whole thing, I know I keep saying that will stop.

My new business venture is exhausting, for all you that think being surrounded by pussy all day is fun its more of a fucking headache than fun, its lucrative that's the only good thing.

I have stayed committed to learning to play guitar, its coming along and I'm having fun, I have also started painting, I'm working on some really disturbing piece, I don't know if Ill share it with you all or not when its done.

My old partner I believe is dead, I can only hope he's fucking dead.

Now this is disturbing, couple of weeks ago I had some blood leak out of my ass, its fucking hysterical to say isn't it, anyway not sure what's going on back there.  Then last week, I was pounding one out and fucking beat it raw, it happens, but now I have blood leaking and a raw cock.  OK there's your fucking updates.

Rob Zombie is coming to town, fucking douche bag prisoner will be going with me, at least to the NYC show, then I'm taking the show on the road down to Philly,

February 13th 2006 8:32 AM

OK I know I haven't been writing much here, been very busy.

Snow has crippled us here in the North East, why I came in here I don't know, stupid fuck I am, anyway.

January 30th 2006 8:50 AM

Wow 2 weeks, ok I know, I've been super busy boys and girls. 

I lost the battle with my home so Friday I brought in a cleaning lady, I have my apartment back.

I looked at another loft, in Jersey, fucking huge space, fucking huge, 4500 sq feet, the guitar is coming along,

January 19th 2006 9:29 AM

I know I know I have been neglecting you all so bad.  The most important day of the year is coming.

Peddler of flesh, hahahahahahahahahaha

I had so much to say as I always do but I am exhausted, I need to let this thing go here or its going to kill me.

Many years ago I let some things go and didn't look back, well I guess I was looking back, hahahahahaha, well at the time I wasn't looking back, there is no sense in looking back is there?  Anyway I'm back, hahahahahahaha, I'm older, wiser and I'm one year into the five year plan, many other things have yet again been put on hold, I guess you can call them pet projects, right now its about making the five year plan.

I need to hear some ear splitting blood dripping music.

January 10th 2006 11:26 AM

Hey hey hey children, OK been busy very busy, the new year, should I say new year, I have adopted the no watch approach to life sometime ago, I think now I am adopting the no calendar way of life, example today is simply day 10 to me, going to see how that works, not sure how I will deal with the year yet but for now day 10.

New ventures in the underworld working well, soon I will have to give up other stuff I'm doing, no time for it and then maybe I can devote enough time to revamp this whole mess at some point, need help, hahahahahahah

Close calls last night, need to stay a step ahead always,

January 5th 2006 1:32 PM

Exhausted, dealing with chicks in the adult business is not easy

January 3rd 2006 9:58 AM

Happy New Year

 

 

Well well well the new year has rolled in, I think this year I'm on a different calendar than everyone else, it is day 3 of the year 2006, fuck I might as well make up my own year also.

I don't have much to say, well of course I do, I always do but don't feel like typing it all, I was watching the news a bit this morning, the was some small snow here and there and they were calling it a nor easter, some schools closed, I mean there's no fucking snow on the ground, no snow, I mean no fucking snow and there calling it a nor easter, we have become obsessed with bad weather.

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Complaints? Go tell someone who gives a fuck.